By Philip O’Sullivan Oct. 10, 2016 A lLocal area Chicago nerd began his annual preparations for pretending to keep up with baseball for the upcoming World Series this year. The nerd, who earlier…

By David North Aug. 1, 2016 I’ve been sharing a studio apartment with Todd Henderson for a couple of weeks now. I am writing this op-ed to recount my experiences living in this…

By Morgan Pantuck May 16, 2016 In a terrifying moment that will surely haunt you for years to come, your biochemistry lab partner and resident imbecile Jason Lieberman just said the word “oops”…

By Alek Binion May 13, 2016 The University of Chicago mathematics department was abuzz this past Saturday after peer review determined the validity of faculty member Paul Phillips revolutionary findings in the already…

By Morgan Pantuck and Reed Thurston April 23, 2016 A controversial study submitted to the New England Journal of Medicine was officially rejected for publication this past weekend following peer review. “Butt Stuff:…

By Morgan Pantuck March 1, 2016 Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump shocked reporters earlier this week by appearing in public with his facial hair trimmed into a toothbrush style, shaved sharply at the…

By Daniel Ruttenberg Feb. 18, 2016 Kyle Jacoby is only in the fifth grade, but already he thinks he’s some sort of chess prodigy. To test his mettle, he challenged six grand–masters to…

By Renee Winget, 2008 Jan. 22, 2016 AAt the crown of his head, presidential candidate Barack Obama’s singular grey hair announced a plan to eradicate pigment in visible hair by the year 2016…

By John F. Kennedy, April 5, 1962 Jan. 18, 2016 To my dear, sweet beloved, Throughout my short presidency, I have been no stranger to clandestine affairs, from the espionage of the Cuban…

By Chase Harrison Dec. 31, 2015 While other UChicago students will be traveling to Paris, Beijing, and Oaxaca in the winter quarter, third-year Junior Kelsey Shippman will be immersing herself in perhaps the…