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April 14, 2016
I really need help here. My prospie, Michael, has beenis slowly changing his appearance to look like me, and this is definitely is not normal.
To be honest, when we met, I didn‘ not expect a thing. Michael’s handshake was a little firm, and his eye contact was constant, but he did not do anything that would make me think “this person is going to rummage through my dirty laundry bin and wear my clothes.””. I got a little worried during the dinner when he stood behind me in line and ordered the exact same sandwich as me (roast beef on white, extra mayo), but the tipping point was when he started wearing my clothes. Some of them were from my laundry hamper, sure, but I am pretty sure he actually bought some of my clothing from Old Navy.
This was not just shirts and pants, either. He started wearing my glasses, and he definitely had framesmy lenses in them. I checked; he foundtook my exact prescription. How Michael got that, I have absolutely no idea whatsoever;; I called my optometrist and he similarly did not did not know w either either.
I tried pressing Michael about it, and all he did was cryptically say “nothing to worry your pretty head about…hiss…it will all be over soon…hiss…” I have no idea what that means at all!.
It gets stranger from there though; he started throwing his voice to sound like me. It was a crude impression at first, but my friends say they’ve lost the ability at this point to tell me and my prospie apart frombased on my voice. I also saw him with my girlfriend, and to be perfectly honest, this is getting weird enough that I am not discounting the theory that the two of them are intimately involved now. She might even be conspiring with him. At this point I don’t know who I can trust.
What is Michael’s plan? Is he just trying to understand what life is like in the eyes of a UChicago student, or is he trying to kill me? Or is it perhaps something even more sinister, something that may affect each and every one of us on this campus? On this planet? Please send me your advice. Preferably soon.
