By Juan Caicedo Oct. 16, 2015 Perhaps you first heard about fuckboys from a parent, coach, or pastor. You may have seen one passing by in the hallway, one hand secure on a…

By Marlon C. Lynch, Associate VP for Safety and Security Aug. 9, 2015 The University of ChicagoSeptember 20, 2015Security Alert At approximately 9:50 p.m., Thursday June 19th, 2014 — A victim not affiliated…

By Anna Belle Newport July 17, 2015 The University of Chicago Office of Admissions, after releasing statistics on the incoming class of 2019 on Tuesday, claims to have the most globally experienced cohort…

By Morgan Pantuck May 26, 2015 According to insider reports, 35-year old Gregory Sheppard, who recently dined at an Olive Garden restaurant with his girlfriend, experienced intense feelings of regret and loss when…

By Evan Bernstein April 23, 2015 20 Ways to Please Your Man These twenty tips are sure to spice things up in the bedroom, shower, or empty train car! 1. Touch it Touching…

By Dan Lastres March 1, 2015 I met my contact in the dark alcove between Harper and Stuart. Vance was a well-dressed guy with an over-waxed mustache. I tried to shake his hand,…

By Teddy Zamborsky Feb. 1, 2015 Point: Race No Longer Divides Us I, Paul Steinburg, am able to proclaim, in the year 2424, that race no longer divides us. I am happy to…

By Alex Foster Dec. 30, 2014 When Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs was released in 2009, it opened our eyes to a future of meteorology and food science that no one had…

By Chicago Shady Dealer Nov. 19, 2014 Marlon C. Lynch Reassures Students: Security Alert Will Be Sent Within 30 Days of First Ebola Death on Campus Marlon Lynch, Associate Vice President for Safety,…

By A Lump of Coal Nov. 13, 2014 The hardest part of being both a first year at the University of Chicago and a sentient lump of coal would have to be adjusting…