UCPD Arrests Peaceful Protesters: “The ‘Free Speech’ Thing Stops After 5:30”

This Thursday, UCPD arrested 25 students and two faculty members engaging in a peaceful sit-in inside Rosenwald. UChicago has long been a champion of free speech, except when it occurs after 5:30pm. 

In an official statement, the University noted that its “overarching commitment to free, robust, and uninhibited debate” is always upheld except when it occurs after official business hours. “Because, was it not Voltaire who said, ‘I may not agree with a word you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it between the hours of 9 in the morning and 5:30 in the evening’?”

In an exclusive Dealer investigation, (we went on the Maroon website) Paul Alivisatos said some bullshit like “free expression is in clear distress.” Noting this distress, he seemingly decided to add to it.

Editorial Note: Here at the Dealer, in our own commitment to the Chicago Principles, would like to officially put into this public record of understanding and knowledge-pursuit, “Fuck that, fuck you, don’t arrest your own fucking students.”