The Chicago Shady Dealer
  • Home
  • About Us
  • Previous Issues
  • Our Greatest Hits
  • Submissions
  • Home
  • About Us
  • Previous Issues
  • Our Greatest Hits
  • Submissions

Masthead

Editors in Chief

Kelly Lo

R.E Stern

Managing Editor

Kate Kaplin

Deputy Managing Editor

Andre Dang

Layout Editor

Abby Beckler

Copy Editors

Jacob Halabe

Maisie Thompson

Merrin Seegers

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected]

  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    “It’s Not Easy Being a Horse,” Says Horse

    Joelle Stephenson / February 27, 2020

    A lot of people have this romantic image of a horse’s life. Well, I can tell you it’s not all rainbows and unicorns. Want to know why? Rainbows don’t exist and unicorns are…

    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Where Does One Go for a Good Time Wednesday Evening?

    Kenneth Moss and 1 more / February 27, 2020

    UChicago has made great steps toward shedding its “where fun goes to die” reputation. So why is it that I still can’t find anything exciting to do on Wednesday nights? I know what…

    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Area Man Sings Aria

    Kate Kaplin / February 27, 2020

    Another announcement from across the midway: an assembly of people near the area have reported the appearance of an anomalous activity. Although not acclaimed for his singing ability, our Area Man assumed that…

    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Op-ed: I’m Starting to Suspect These Kids Aren’t into Mardi Gras for Religious Reasons

    John Buterbaugh / February 27, 2020

    Way down south, past even 61st Street, lies a city (un)affectionately referred to as the Sodom and Gomorrah on the Mississippi– New Orleans. But the heavily Catholic city is only a city of…

    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    New Gentrification Destination for UChicago Students: Rural Iowa

    Tiny Caucuser / February 4, 2020

    As election season heats up, thousands of college students are flocking to Iowa to take their political condescension from Twitter replies to Iowa pig farmers – which is to say, to a whole…

    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Cool! I’ve Watched the Superbowl for Ten Minutes. I’m So American. Bar Stool Sports, Yeah. I’m in a Room with Men Drinking Coors Light and Yelling Loudly at People from California. This Feels Right. Something About This Feels Very Right. My Life Has Never Felt So Right Till Now. I Have Found My Place in a Room With All These Men, These American Men Who Don’t Like People From California, and Now My Life Feels Right, Finally.

    I Don’t Need My Ex-Wife Anymore / February 3, 2020

    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Longstanding UChicago Tradition Datamatch Returns for Its Second Year

    Chicago Shady Dealer and 2 more / February 2, 2020

    “Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match, find me a find, catch me a catch!”  That’s right, folks, it’s that time again: your favorite event of Winter Quarter, nay, the year, is back! Datamatch,…

    read more

Read It and Weep

  • After Years of Confusion, PSI Decides to Just Become a Frat
  • Wanna Feel Better About Politics? Donate to These 4 Inspirational Democrats Running in Districts They Have No Chance Whatsoever of Winning
  • Woodlawn Announces Intramural Cockfighting League to Boost House Culture
  • Pope Francis Considering a 2024 Bid for Dalai Lama
  • Why is the Trolley Problem On My Econ P-Set, and What Did Y’all Get?
  • MAB Bans Non-Black Concertgoers from Saying N-Word at Summer Breeze, Causes Stir
  • Breaking: Your New Student Government
  • Sexy Jesus & Apoptles Rumble Time!!!
  • Four Complaints I Would Have About UChi-Con – If I Went, Which I Definitely Didn’t
  • Op-Ed from an Autistic Person: Why I Am Elated That I No Longer Have to Practice Masking

Chicago Shady Dealer

  • Home
  • About Us
  • Previous Issues
  • Our Greatest Hits
  • Submissions

Archives

Categories

For Writers

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
© 2022 Chicago Shady Dealer
  • Home
  • About Us
  • Previous Issues
  • Our Greatest Hits
  • Submissions
Ashe Theme by WP Royal.