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Top 7 Most Creative House Themes
By Milena Pross Aug. 9, 2015 The university prides itself on its unique housing system. With thirty-eight houses and eleven dormitories, the places where students live vary in appearance, cleanliness, and distance from…
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A One-Star Review of My New “Bad Cop” RA
By Milena Pross Aug. 9, 2015 I’m not normally one to write a review, but I feel it’s my civic duty to warn my fellow students about a plague upon the House Systemhousing…
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Roommate Apparently Gone Hunting
By Ryan Fleishman Aug. 10, 2015 As of last Tuesday, University of Chicago student Jim Jackson has disappeared in order to “hunt”. According to multiple sources, Jim was working on creating his fall…
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Trauma Center: Progress, But the Fight Does End Here
By Dan Leafhorn Sept. 12, 2015 The University of Chicago’s recent announcement of plans to build a trauma center on the South Side has many celebrating and lauding this decision. The promised trauma…
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Botany Pond Opens For New Year of Swimming
By Willamina Greothing Sept. 22, 2015
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CNN to Model Next Presidential Debate after the Hunger Games
By Zoe Kaiser Oct. 8, 2015 Emboldened by the ratings brought in by the Republican presidential debate, CNN plans to base the next Republican primary debate on the popular Hunger Games books, pitting…
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Donor offers 500 million to rename House Fuck
By Zoe Kaiser Oct. 8, 2015 A donor, who has elected to remain anonymous, has offered the University of Chicago 500 million dollars to rename one of the houses being moved to North…
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Pearson Institute Established to Resolve Global Conflict Between Econ Majors, Rest of World
By Breck Radulovic Oct. 8, 2015 News of a $100 million donation was well received, with both Economics majors and human beings with souls agreeing that the new Pearson Institute for the Study…
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Rattling Radiator Actually Maintenance Worker Trapped in Wall
By Grace Quigley Oct. 11, 2015 The search for Leo Fox ended late Thursday evening when the 43-year-old was found inside the wall of Maclean residence hall behind what was previously thought to…
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Panera to Stop Selling GMOs After Seeing Convincing Facebook Post
By Katie Zellner Oct. 12, 2015 After seeing a convincing Facebook post by his uncle, the Co-CEO of Panera Bread Sam Hockly has announced that his company will begin serving only 100% organic…
