![]()
Oct. 25, 2015
Last Friday, The Rainbow announced that its sixth color, indigo, has been officially removed from all future and current incarnations of itself due to budget constraints. While this announcement affirms a large amount of public speculation, many rainbow-viewers were immensely surprised when the news came. The Rainbow reached the decision to remove indigo after months of arduous discussion in response to financial difficulties.
Indigo, one of the original colors included in The Rainbow, has long been a subject of dispute among the rainbow community. PeopleMany consider indigo to be a superfluous shade between blue and violet, and cite its overly complicated name and comparatively obscure nature.
“You ask children their favorite color and they say red, green, or blue,.” saidSays resident color speculator Joan Newport., “Only a true bastard of societydegenerate calls indigo his favorite color.”
Others are highly offended by indigo’s removal, and have started protests across the world in support of their color.
“Indigo is a sacred member of the 7seven colors of The Rainbow. Taking it away not only defiles rainbow tradition, but lowers the number of colors to 6six. 6Six is a stupid number,.” said Says one protester, Jaime Cauthorn. “Indigo is the shit. Why aren’t people complaining about violet? Fuck violet. It’s just a condescending rip-off of purple.”
When asked for his thoughts on the situation, resident colorblind person James O’neal said “You are horrible. There is a special place in Hell for you.” It is unclear why James chose the second-person narrative to describe indigo, but his feelings are clear.The Rainbow has been struggling financially over the last two2 years, 168 days, four4 hours, 15 minutes, and two2 seconds due to the recession. The fFirst signs of its financial weakness included drops in quality and quantity of rainbows around the world.ld, thenThis was TtH I This was followed by serious debt, which forced the replacement of pots of gold at the end of rainbows to be replaced with cardboard boxes filled with packing peanuts and low-quality quartz. These problems nearly peaked last January, when The Rainbow started outsourcing production to Cambodian sweatshops.
We attempted to interview The Chicago Shady Dealer reached out to The Rainbow on the subject, but it did not respondfor an interview, but received no response. This is likely because The Rainbow is a natural phenomenon and cannot talk.
