Bowls of Adderall Labeled “Don’t Do It ;)” Found Across Campus
Walking by his house lounge in Woodlawn Residential Commons last Tuesday, first-year Joshua Nielson was struck to find a bowl of small orange pills sitting next to the container of condoms and dental dams. The bowl was labeled, “Don’t Do It,” followed by an emoticon winky face.
“The second that thing hit my tongue, I thought, ‘Yep, that’s adderall,’” Nielson said.
A few days later, third-year Eleanor McCloskey reported a bowl of blue pills sitting on a table by the entrance of Stuart Hall’s third-floor reading room. Not only was the bowl also labeled “Don’t Do It ;),” but McCloskey noticed a five-dollar bill peeking out from the bottom. She came to the same conclusion as Nielson.
Similar temptations have been cropping up across campus since the start of Winter Quarter. Along with several other bowls of loose adderall, students have reported boxes of stanozolol across from the treadmills in Henry Crown Field House, ritalin in A-Level vending machines, and Easter baskets of Viagra in Harper Cafe bathrooms, sparking the question: Does the University want us to be abusing substances?
Adderall and other stimulants have long been a refuge for students with pressing PSET and paper deadlines, but the University has never endorsed these methods. A representative from Campus and Student Life, who asked to remain anonymous, vehemently denied allegations that the University has been planting unregulated prescription drugs across campus to improve student academic, athletic, and personal performance. “Campus and Student Life is dedicated to the wellbeing of all UChicago students. There are academic and mental health resources available for students struggling in either area.”
As the Dealer’s reporter left the representative’s office, she was handed a Student Wellness flyer for “Mindful Meditation” and three cans of Celsius.
