Frida Kahlo smiles

By Maya Handa

Feb. 4, 2013

Unspeakably miserable Mexican painter Frida Kahlo flashed a rare smile yesterday after her husband, muralist Diego Rivera, tripped over a bucket of turpentine and ripped his pants.

“That was moderately amusing,” Kahlo said, resuming her usual expression of fierce melancholy only moments after losing her composure and turning up the corners of her lips slightly.

Kahlo, whose career has been shaped by her unwillingness to show any emotion other than distress as well as her insistence on painting unattractive “selfies” of her unibrow, rarely smiles and plans to pout despondently for the next three weeks in order to make up for the lapse.

Witnesses state that Rivera fell comically over a large bucket of turpentine Kahlo had spitefully planted behind him and landed on his face, ripping his only pair of overalls. One snickering woman stated, “Rivera’s obesity added to the humor of the situation.”

Rivera will paint five giant Communist murals in public spaces over the next year in order to replace his overalls, much to the dismay of government officials.

“Will somebody please clothe that guy in the meantime?” one anonymous official sasked, glancing worriedly at Rivera’s sagging backside.