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Girl Wearing Gladiator Sandals Loses Fight to Death
By Maya Handa May 28, 2013 First-year Amelia McDonald lost her left leg, both hands, and then her head this morning after participating in her first munera—a gladiator-style fight to the death—on Eckhart…
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Terms of Your Lease You Will Regret Not Reading
By Diane Zimmerman May 29, 2013 The lease for your new apartment is one of the most important legal documents that you will skim during your time in college. To help you bear…
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Report: Career-Ready Graduates Spent Four Years Writing Satire, Fake News
By DJ LoBraico June 1, 2013 According to a recent report commissioned by the Office of Career Advancement, three of the most marketable and career-ready members of the graduating College class of 2013…
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Study: Over 85% of IM Frisbee Participants Have No Idea What’s Going On
By Zach Augustine June 2, 2013 HYDE PARK—Recent studies suggest that over three-quarters of participants in Coed Intramural Frisbee Leagues “don’t even know how to throw”. Multiple firstyear girls, coerced to play in…
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Class of 2017 Surprised by Air of Sexual Promise
By Clay Olsen Aug. 2, 2013 Most long-time inmates at the University of Chicago know that the campus and its environs are boiling cauldrons of sin, a few well-timed winks and broken condoms…
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Parties to look out for in 2013
By Robin Ye Aug. 2, 2013 The brochures promised it all: eternal laughter on the quad, casual, enjoyable studying, and a diverse set of friends assembled from the far regions of the world,…
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Undergrad Begins Quest For Truth
By Zach Augustine Aug. 2, 2013 Incoming first-year Sally Danderson is determined to finally solve not one but several of the vital issues that have been plaguing philosophy for all of recorded human…
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Housecest accounts for Mere 95% of O-Week Hookups
By Ayesha Wadhawan Aug. 2, 2013 In the early days of the 2013-14 academic year, the proportion of O-Week hook-ups between individuals of the same house has reached a shocking low of 95%.…
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Editorial: People keep asking if I like it at UIC
By UIC Student Aug. 2, 2013 I’m so tired of people asking me about UIC. As college students, you’ll understand my struggle. As if it isn’t enough that wehave to have the same…
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Point: I have been forced to carry the spirit of Pierce on my shoulders. Counterpoint by construction worker: I have been forced to carry Pierce on my shoulders
By Daniel Moattar Aug. 2, 2013 Point: I have been forced to carry the spirit of Pierce on my shoulders. By Oliver Wateringcan II With the construction of the University of Chicago’s new…
