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Department of Safety and Security Call for Applications: Student Security Guard
By Tamer Barsbay Nov. 10, 2012 Collaborating with Career Advancement, the UCPD proudly announces a new security officer internship sponsored by the Metcalf program. The latest wave of crimes on campus has necessitated…
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Calculus Students Learn Drinking Limits Following Midterms
By Diane Zimmerman Nov. 10, 2012 The best place for a mathematician may be behind a counter, but reports this weekend found them on top of the bar. After a particularly difficult round…
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Using Local Resources, Peer Health Exchange Begins Educational Programs for UChicago Students
By Jeremy Wilson Nov. 10, 2012 Peer Health Exchange (PHE) recently expanded their mission from promoting safe sex practices in the surrounding community to helping UChicago students understand how to have sex. In…
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I Have Never Seen a Horse
By Jake Frisch Nov. 11, 2012 Its not like I dont know what they are, Im not an idiot. Ive just never seen a horse. No, not even a picture. People keep saying,…
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Local Fatty Learns Chinese Through Fortune Cookies
By Stephen Lurie Nov. 11, 2012 Area man Jack Yarborough discovered this week an unexpected and unintended benefit to his Chinese take-out habit: learning Chinese. By his estimates, the 340-pound Mr. Yarborough must…
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We could make a pretty good ski team
By Bobby Zimmer Nov. 12, 2012 I know its a little early in the year to start thinking about this, but Im pretty confident that we could make a good ski team. Im…
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UCPD attributes increased arrest rates to dedicated dining hall squad
By Sam Spiegel Nov. 12, 2012 In coordinated and simultaneous raids on all three campus dining halls, the University of Chicago Police Department has arrested upwards of 50 people linked to a food-smuggling…
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New Optimus Parm food truck sells Italian food, fights crime
By Daniel Moattar Nov. 12, 2012 In recent days, Hyde Park’s food truck craze has taken on a new dimension: the endless war against evil. A new red-and-blue cart can be found sitting…
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Professor dismissed after students found chained to wall in controversial Plato lecture
By Walker King Nov. 12, 2012 Details have just begun to emerge regarding the conditions in Professor Barry Heitzmans section of the Greek Thought and Literature class, where students were reportedly kept chained…
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President Pardons Two Turduckens in Thanksgiving Ritual
By Matt Montequin Nov. 13, 2012 President Robert Zimmer took to Midway Plaisance on Wednesday for the annual Presidential T?urducken Pardon, surprising onlookers when he chose to spare not one, but two turduckens…