By Reed Thurston Nov. 11, 2015 Following a string of reports from students and other University of Chicago community members claiming to have witnessed the event firsthand, college the Dean of the College,…

By Nico Aldape Nov. 11, 2015 In aone of recently decommissioned Nintendo’s manyfactory in Yokohama, Japanese factories, inspectors found a dust-laden room filled with 50 thousand unreleased copies of “Super Waluigi.” At a…

By Evan Gorstein and Hillel Steinmetz Nov. 11, 2015 It was quite the miracle. UChicago sSecond-year undergraduate Judah Greenberg’s novelty bong remained lit for eight nights in a row, finally going out on…

By Error Nov. 11, 2015 TTFun fact – this phenomenon is also known as Poseidon’s Kiss! Remember that this happened to gods too. Archeological studies have have havfound that most of the output…

By Chase Harrison Nov. 11, 2015 While SSsecond– y Year Rhonda Wong spent her Friday night on November 13 relaxing in her single in South, watching Aziz Ansari’s new Netflix series Master of…

By Nico Aldape Nov. 11, 2015 Socrates: Let us move to the concepts of memes, the nature of which, as Apollo wishes, is of optimal dankness. Memes are the form and dankness the…

By Adam Lowinger Nov. 11, 2015 In an unexpected surprise, a Professor James.Richard Bunich of the Mathematics Ddepartment was recently visited by his parents. He was tTold on Wednesday that his parents would…

By Nik Varley Nov. 12, 2015 Hey, honey. What I have to say isn’t easy, but it’s important, and I honestly can’t live with it any longer. It breaks my heart to see…

By Daniel Ruttenberg Nov. 12, 2015 I’ve let this go on for long enough, Pat. I know you’re just jacking off in your room. I’m not buying the “sexile” routine again. You really…

By Chase Harrison and Daniel Ruttenberg Nov. 12, 2015 At a rally in Sioux City, Iowa, a weary and obviously desperate Jeb Bush unveiled “Jeb!!” as his newest campaign logo. “It’s so fun,…