• MEETING INFO: Thursdays, 6 pm, Harper 145.
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Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Campus Life, Favorites

Math Department Discovers New Highest Number

A team of mathematicians at the University of Chicago have discovered a new highest number, a new paper reveals. That number, 87382, is nearly 2 higher than the previous highest…

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November 16, 2020
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

Visiting Parents Worried about the Cost of Three Weddings after Seeing Son Talk to Three Different Girls in His House

While parents Michael and Jessica Trout carefully budgeted for their son Timothy’s college expenses along with a single wedding, they were abruptly reminded that some costs simply cannot be anticipated…

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October 24, 2021
Chicago Shady Dealer, Favorites

OI Renamed “Indiana H. Jones Institute of Academic Grave-Robbing”

In an effort to promote diversity, the Institute will showcase numerous artifacts looted and pillaged from cultures around the world.

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November 30, 2022
Campus Life, Favorites

University Introduces New Way to Get Downtown: “Walk, Motherfuckers”

This option has been poorly received by undergraduates, as several would-be ‘motherfuckers’ told the Dealer.

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December 6, 2022
Campus Life, Favorites

Kid Makes Anaphylactic Shock All About Himself

Joseph Silverstein, a member of Johnson’s house, said, “Yeah, so while John went to the bathroom, I swapped his muffin with one that had peanuts, and, gosh, after hearing that…

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January 5, 2023
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Evidence Suggest Shady Dealer Staff Innocent

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Ask Disastrously Misapplied Nietszche

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    First year refers to Everything as “The Quad”

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    LD Break-Up Mad Libs

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Things your parents Have Already Replaced You With

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    RH’s Kid Knows What You Did

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    First year Displays Dominance by Sexiling Roommate, Urinating on Laptop

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    “East is Lake,” says Fur-clad Campus Tour Guide

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Seven Things White People Need to Stop Doing

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Candy Corn Neither

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013
    read more
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