Oregano Prices Skyrocket as Americans Simultaneously Hit with Overwhelming Craving for Oregano
WALL STREET—Hot on the heels of America’s rising concern about the price of eggs, economists have identified the newest victim of 2025’s rising prices: Oregano. In the past few days, oregano prices have exploded as the nation has developed a sudden, inexplicable simultaneous craving for the delicious Italian spice. Experts say the trend will not be letting up any time soon.
According to oregano economist Dow Jones III, until last week, the price of oregano had remained steady at around $55 USD for a pound of leaves. But in the past few days, thousands of Amercians have been captivated by the herb’s versatility and musky aroma. “This kind of surge in the oregano market is absolutely unprecedented”, says Jones, who has been studying Oreganomics since 1995. “There was a brief surge in demand during the 2007 Tarragon crisis, but quick action on the part of the federal government to increase taxes on herb sales averted any long term negative externalities. The consequences to the market this time could be even more dire.”
On the oregano craze, Napervillian and mother-of-four Rosemary Bayleaf told the Dealer, “There’s no reason for it–I just realized that oregano was what I was missing my whole life.”
“It’s fantastic. I can just lap it up like a cat”, agreed her husband, Basil.
Some American consumers, like psychiatric nurse Ginger Pollinger, have attempted to grow the herb themselves, but nurseries have quickly run out of seedlings. Pollinger says that upon attempting to purchase oregano plants to propagate in her back garden, she was told she could have her name put on a 100-day waitlist for new shipments. In the meantime, Pollinger has had to resort to eating a potent mix of marjoram, basil and thyme, a mixture that sources say could soon be impossible to obtain.
In short, if we don’t get to the root of our oregano-mania soon, we could be out of thyme.
Lena Birkholz is a second-year in the College who somehow seems to be turning out exactly like her parents. When not writing biting exposes of the university for the Dealer, Lena enjoys mispronouncing the word "corps", jaywalking and taking up space in coffeeshops
