Campus Life

UChicago Gambling Club Wins Big

After 3 years of continuous efforts and persistence,the UChicago Gambling Club finally managed their first big win. Josh Gambler, a third year student, has achieved the club’s first win in blackjack, with profits exceeding $10,000 from a $50 bet.

“Words cannot describe my excitement for this win!” Mr. Gambler tweeted after the win.

Despite the win, the club has still not achieved its goals, however.

“It’s well known that 99% of gamblers quit right before they win big. $10,000 is quite big, but $10,000,000 is even bigger”, UChicago Gambling Club president, Adam Rouletteman, stated after the victory.

However, the recent jackpot has motivated the club to expand its operations. More specifically, the club will now participate in more opportunities to lose their homes win big, including horse racing, betting on the Malaysian Soccer League 2nd Division, and that one virtual poker game on New Super Mario Bros.

Moreover, UChicago President Paul Alivisatos has announced that the club will receive significant investment following their blackjack win. While the president’s intentions have not been made clear, it is presumed that the university will finance Bartlett repairs with a portion of the gambling club profits.