Announcing the Shady Dealer’s Datamatch 2023

The UChicago-centric comedic dating quiz will return for its fifth year in 2023 with new and improved questions, more false hope for students’ romantic lives, and a slightly lower chance of matching students with their own sisters. The Chicago Shady Dealer, UChicago’s humor magazine, will return as question writers, with a survey for 2023 with never-before seen jokes about the university and student life.

“After four straight years of Datamatch, we thought we’d hit rock bottom in terms of question material, but it turns out we could sink lower down!” said R.E. Stern, co-editor-in-chief of the Dealer. “Students taking Datamatch this year can expect laughs, insights, and an enduring sense of disappointment.”

The Dealer has also made significant upgrades to Datamatch’s question-writing and matchmaking processes for 2023. The service has also expanded its operations and strengthened its longstanding partnership with local businesses. “New for this year, students can show up at Hutchinson Commons with their matches, bring a nickel and two dimes, and get a quarter in return,” said Stern.

“We asked the programmers to add UChicago-specific personal preferences like ‘has been rejected by a maximum of three frats’ and ‘failed startup co-founder’. They refused, but we’re still optimistic that this year’s Datamatch will be a success,” added Kelly Lo, the Dealer’s other co-editor-in-chief.

Datamatch will open Tuesday, Feb. 7th at midnight at datamatch.me, and matches will be released on Valentine’s Day, Tuesday, Feb. 14th, at 9AM EST.