Don’t shower. Given that you haven’t gone outside in the past two weeks and haven’t seen anyone, this one might already be a given. Showering removes your body’s natural oils and “funk,” if…

Come on sweetie, you don’t look lactose intolerant! You’re not really lactose intolerant, you’re probably just faking so you get more bathroom breaks. Your poops are liquid? Like an old Philadelphia roll from Shinju, this…