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Masthead

Editors in Chief

Griffin Bonnin Jones, Andrea Zhou

Managing Editor

Katherine Reynolds

Deputy Managing Editor

Vivian Psylos

Layout Editor

Justin Bilenker

Photo Editor

Zayna Cheema

Copy Editors

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    With University Moving Online, Dealer To Publish Issues Via Fax

    Chicago Shady Dealer and 1 more / March 31, 2020

    CHICAGO, IL – Representatives for the Shady Dealer announced today that, despite the University of Chicago’s move towards online classes, the paper would keep publishing, albeit in a different format. Effective immediately, new…

    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    35 Ways to Spend Your Extra Daylight Savings Hour This Weekend:

    Harrison Weinstein / March 9, 2020

    Bungee jumping Having sex Having more sex Having even more sex because you really don’t take that long to have sex Calling your mother and apologizing for everything Finally visiting the Art Institute…

    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    The Worst Part of MODA Was Having to Put the Models Down after the Show 

    The Tube Sock Warehouse / March 3, 2020

    People say to us all the time, “MODA is so great,” “MODA is so original,” “You’re so brave for designing clothes,” “We could never wear clothes like you do” — we know. But…

    read more

Read It and Weep

  • LA Dodgers Fan finds out the Dodgers are a Baseball team and not a Hat Company
  • 5 Movies to Reject the Christmas Spirit while still saying you’re watching a Christmas Movie
  • Catholic Family Realizes They’re Nation’s Last Practitioners of the Advent Wreath; Experts Confirm the Three Kings Are “Not Coming, Don’t Wait Up”
  • UChicago Tour Guide Fired after Confirming “Where Fun Goes to Die” Culture on Tour
  • Air Force Forms Task Force of Skydiving Spiders
  • 10 Things To Do on Campus This Fall That Feel Almost As Good As Being Loved
  • Trump claims to have discovered “Constitution 2” allowing him to do whatever he wants
  • Pumpkin Spice Adderall® now available from your local dealer for your fall-themed 9 hour cram session in the Reg
  • Karoline Leavitt to respond to CNN journalists with yo mama jokes
  • President Alivisatos found drunk at frat party after US news report

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