President Zimmer Occupies Admin Building: demands less transparency, less student input

By James Ekstrom

April 28, 2013

This morning, at 8:00 a.m., University staff attempting to begin work at the University Administration Building found the doors and ground-floor windows locked and barricaded from the inside. By 8:15 a.m., it became clear the barricade was a protest instigated by activist group President Zimmers for President Zimmer, colloquially known as P-Zims for Pres-Z. While the group’s size is unknown (group President, President Zimmer, has adamantly refused to publish its membership roster, and meetings are highly secretive), UCPD estimates that the protest is being carried out by approximately 1 high-profile University administrator. However, they declined to speculate on the identities of any of the participants.

The group’s goals were presented as messages scrawled in Sharpie on several pieces of furniture tossed out of second-floor windows, and, in summary, included: demands for an end to administrative responses to student concerns, increased obscurity of University investment, hiring, and acceptance policies, and increased salaries for the University’s best Presidents and faculty members named Shadi Bartsch-Zimmer.

The protest comes on the tail of a variety of high-profile incidents of activism instigated by P-Zims, including starting a tumblr (fuckyeahuniversitypresidents.tumblr.com), an anonymous Facebook confessions page (UChicago President Confessions), and an announcement that the RSO will hold a free-food event for all graduating seniors this Spring Quarter in the President’s backyard, pending the group’s demands being met.

While support for the movement among the general student body has been mixed, University staff has largely remained open to hearing what the group has to say, and actually sit down to nearly daily meetings with the group’s leadership. Just last week, the group successfully managed to secure a key promise from the administration to exclusively use buzzwords in all future public responses to University scandals and controversies. At press time, the protest was ongoing, but participants indicated via paper airplane note that “We are satisfied, and not at all surprised, that exactly zero undercover UCPD officers are taking part in the demonstration.”