Five Sex Tips So Good, You’ll Forget You’ve Never Had a Vaginal Orgasm

By Becky Stoner

April 25, 2015

1. If your man’s not getting the job done, take matters into your own hands. While he’s on top of you, grunting his way towards climax, take a minute or ten for yourself. Try rubbing your clitoris in a circular motion, or back and forth, or in any other way that pleases you. Experiment! You know he won’t.

2. Have you ever thought about getting a sex toy? Vibrators come in all shapes, sizes, and colors nowadays. You can even order them on Amazon Prime for two-day shipping! Please. Do this for yourself. They offer an unparalleled opportunity for your vaginal walls to contract with pleasure, longer and more powerfully than you have ever experienced in your adult sexual life.

3. Try bringing a friend to bed! We all have girl crushes—as evidenced by our weekly tequila-fueled make-outs with our besties. If you feel like your sex life has been a bit lackluster, or simply too cock-centric, why not capitalize on the power of the yonic? Girls are great at knowing what girls like, because we all have the same parts. They are also extremely hot and will never try to claim that the female orgasm is “just a myth propagated by Sheryl Sandberg,” the way your old boyfriend Jeff did.

4. Try pretending that your man is actually Enrique Inglesias. Or Channing Tatum. Or Cara Delevingne. Or that pretty dark-haired girl you see at the gym sometimes. Or whoever, as long as (s)he doesn’t have weird stubbly pubes the way your boyfriend does. Or his habit of moaning “Fore! Aft! Fore! Shaft!”

5. You are in a sacred forest. It is pulsating with light. Guide the light over your breasts, rubbing your nipples back and forth, and down around your navel, and up your thighs. Let the light pulse for minutes over your holy bush. Imagine the light getting more and more intense, until it explodes. This is a helpful simulation of what a vaginal orgasm might feel like—but, of course, none of us can ever really know.