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May 16, 2016
In a terrifying moment that will surely haunt you for years to come, your biochemistry lab partner and resident imbecile Jason Lieberman just said the word “oops” while working on your shared enzyme assayIn a terrifying moment that will surely haunt you for years to come, your chemistry lab partner and resident imbecile Jason Lieberman just said the word “oops” while working on your shared caffeine synthesis. . Given his long history of ruining all your hard work, reports indicate that Lieberman, 19, has probably seriously screwed something up this time.
“Lieberman is, well, inept,” explained laboratory supervisor Henrietta Patrick. “He’s the kind of kid that adds 100mL instead of 100μul. He breaks glassware. He sneezes on samples. That sort of thing.”
It is currently unclear why Lieberman said “oops,“ how large his mistake was, or and whether his grimy ham-fisted hands will cost you points on your lab report. Sources speculate that he may have added anywhere from 1-2 hours to the amount of time it will take to complete the project and that his parents likely regret having him. At press time, your blood pressure wasre wasis rapidly rising as you turnedturned around to face your partner and strangle him to death.
