Chicago Shady Dealer

Bio-Curious Student Registers for Genetics Class

By Morgan Pantuck
Feb. 18, 2016

Second-year and self-described “bio-curious” student Jenny Anderson was seen earlier this week registering for BIOS 11128, an introductory biology course for non-majors. Anderson, 19, told the Dealer that she always thought of herself as “a humanities gal.”

“If you had asked me a few years ago, can you see yourself taking a hard science class, I would’ve been, like, no way!” Anderson explained,. “But,” she added, looking wistfully into the distance, “there’s just something about chromosomes that’s been really distracting lately.”

While Anderson maintains that the class is “nothing serious” and that she’ll “probably take it pass-fail,” her friends are less convinced. Third-year Robert McMillan, for example, noted that Anderson seems increasingly unsatisfied by her social studies readings.

“Last year, you couldn’t tear Jen away from Marx or Freud for ten minutes,” he commented,. “But these days, her eyes gloss over any material longer than a few pages. Now she’s been talking about someone named Rosalind Franklin… she discovered DNA or something? I’m not sure.”

Other students shared similar observations. “When I came home yesterday, I caught Jenny looking at genetic pedigrees on her computer,” confessed roommate Lena Osborne,. “She slammed the screen shut really fast, but it was still obvious. I don’t know what’s gotten into her.”

When confronted about her fluid academic interests, Anderson rapidly became defensive. “Look, it’s not like I’m going to turn into a pre-med or something,” she allegedly yelled at her mother while talking on the phone,. “You think one genetics course is going to make me start wearing laboratory-safe shoes and ponyy-tails everywhere I go?”

While Jenny’s friends and family remain uncertain, other STEM majors seem excited for Jenny to take the class. When questioned about her registration, biochemistry/biology double major Katie Yen commented, “Personally, I think Jen would look really hot with a lab coat and a ponytail.”