5,369 Students Mugged at 970 E. 58th Street

By Matthew Goldenberg

April 17, 2013

In a shocking spike in the local crime rate, police officials have reported that nearly all 5,000 undergraduate students at the University of Chicago were mugged or otherwise robbed in the month of March. The vast majority of these muggings occurred around 970 East 58th Street.

In most cases, the victims were going about their daily routine, just as thousands of other students were across the nation, when men and women in business casual attire appeared out of nowhere and demanded up to $14,598 from students. Every student at the University had fallen victim to this crime at some point by March 22.

“It was really terrifying,” said victim and College third-year Janice Andrews, “I didn’t know what to do so I just gave them all of my cash and credit cards.”

Reports indicate, however, that events like this at the UofC are far from uncommon. It surfaced on Sunday that this is not the first time that most students have been mugged like this. Most reported that this happens regularly three times per year, typically once each in the autumn, winter, and spring. For some exceptionally unfortunate students, it happens a fourth time in the summer. Archival records show that the amount demanded in these crimes has increased drastically in the last twenty years.

As of press time the University of Chicago Police Department (UCPD) had not announced any leads as to who was behind the robberies. University President Robert Zimmer has urged students to just “go along with the muggers” because they could be dangerous. Zimmer said that the best way to solve the crime was to continue paying the muggers “because maybe possibly eventually in some world they’ll have enough money and stop. But don’t get your hopes up.”

While rare, crime waves like this have been seen in a handful of other cases across the country, in locations such as Cambridge, Manhattan, and St. Louis. In fact, the largest mugging in recent history happened in Yonkers, NY to a victim identified later as Sarah Lawrence.