Excuse me, is this where I email to unsubscribe from your listhost?

By Nora Helfand

Nov. 10, 2012

Hi. I’m not sure if this is where I go to do this, but could you please take me off your listhost?

I’ve already taken measures in attempting to be removed: emailing the Shady Dealer listhost, passing notes to the Shady Dealer editors in statistics class? dashing into Shady Dealer meetings wearing nothing but a loincloth and screaming my request into a megaphone, writing “Please take me off your listhost” in Sharpie on the nearest bathroom to the Shady Dealer meeting (with complementary drawing of a shark messily devouring a scuba diver and some dicks), even paying a pilot to write “Just Take Me Off The Listhost, For Christ’s Sake” across the sky – but my desperate pleas have gone unanswered.

If this goes on any longer… I will still be receiving emails. Honestly, I don’t see why they can’t just give us a way to unsubscribe ourselves on a website or something. Wait—Oh god what have I done.