Santa Requests Extension
By Santa Claus
Dec. 25, 2013
Dear Children of the World,
Christmas is here! I hope you’re as excited as I am. The holidays are such an exciting time of the year. Eating, drinking, shopping, New Year’s resolutions! I smile just thinking about the busyness.
Speaking of which, could I get an extension?
I know I usually get all of the presents delivered in one night, but I feel like I’m exceptionally busy. I mean there are close to 2 billion people who need presents this Christmas. That’s a lot right?
Now, I don’t mean imply that you getting presents doesn’t matter. You’ll still get your gifts. I just feel that some of my followers may need a little extra comforting this Christmas. Perhaps the Christians in Egypt might want a hug? That wouldn’t be too much of an inconvenience to you, would it? It would delay your celebration for maybe an hour but that’s really all I need, especially since I upgraded the sleigh’s nitro-booster system last year.
This brings me to my next reason for requesting an extension. My sleigh is a little on the small side for 2 billion people’s worth of presents. Especially with these new fan-dangled video games and such, the load can be quite heavy. I’ll have to make a few pit stops at the North Pole. I have experimented with outsourcing the workload but I found that lead to more problems. People aren’t comfortable with just any stranger coming down their chimney. It’s bad enough when it’s an overweight old man.
The lead up to Christmas is just such a busy time for me that I won’t be able to talk to you in person about this. That’s the mall circuit for you. If you want more explanation for the extension request feel free to join me on my lap at your local mall.
Again, I’m really only asking for a few extra hours to get all of the presents delivered this year. You have my word as a man with a few hundred years under his belt that I am not abusing your good will. I really am busy and cannot commit to completing the delivery on time with good conscious.
Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
Santa Claus
P.S. If I don’t get this extension, you are all going to get coal for Christmas.
