First year refers to Everything as “The Quad”

By Evan Bernstein

July 23, 2014

CHICAGO – According to sources familiar with the semantic controversy, University of Chicago first-year Jacob Brinkler has been referring to various campus buildings, outdoor sites, and even orientation activities as “The Quad.”

Housemate Rebecca Follins tells The Dealer that Jacob asked her to join him for “lunch at The Quad,” even though they ended up eating in Bartlett Dining Commons.

O-Aide Jonathan Prowler reported hearing similarly odd usage of the term, noting that Brinkler used it to refer to the grass on Midway Plaisance, the Logan Center for the Arts, as well as his first and second Chicago Life meetings.

Merriam-Webster’s dictionary defines quad as “a centrally located quadrangular enclosure which may house academic buildings and administrative offices, as well as common areas and outdoor social spaces.”

The Dealer reached out to Brinkler for comment via email. His response follows:

Hi, Evan, thanks for emailing me. I’d be happy to answer your questions. (You didn’t have to tell me you’re a powerful person, I’ll answer your questions regardless.)

1. I’m adjusting quite nicely to the weather, actually. I’m from Portland, which is a lot further north than people think!

2. UChicago was my first choice school. My grandparents live here and I used to visit them each spring and I love the city, so it just seemed like a perfect choice. And all those pictures of The Quad! Beautiful!

3. I don’t know… six inches? I’ve never really measured.

4. I haven’t really built up a routine yet. I wrote a couple essays in my room, but I can focus a lot better in the Harper Quad, or the Regenstein Quad. I haven’t been in the Mansueto Quad yet, but it looks really cool from the outside!

5. I’m not totally sure how to answer this one… it’s not really a question. It’s cool that your dad’s a cop, though!

6. Jake, usually. But Jacob’s fine.

7. No. Just Jake or Jacob’s fine.

8. I went once as a kid, but I haven’t been to Sea World in a long time.

9. Probably The Quad.

10. Yeah, I have a sister. That’s not her name, though. She doesn’t come to the Quad that often. Our family doesn’t really play nude Frisbee together. Why do you ask?

11. I’d love to hang out some time! We should meet up at The Quad and play some Quad-style Quad Quad. QUAAAAAADDDDDDDD.

Love,

Jake

As of press time, Brinkler had yet to arrive at The Quad. He should be here pretty soon, though. Look out for a sandy-haired kid in cargo shorts with a hacky sack.