Chicago Shady Dealer

Survey: Math Department Unaware Gerald Ford No Longer President

Good luck getting your STEM profs to stop assigning work so you can watch today’s historic inauguration: a new survey of UChicago’s mathematics department revealed that the majority of its members were not only unaware of today’s proceedings, but were entirely ignorant of post-1976 politics altogether.

A full 93% of the department’s members were unable to correctly identify the outgoing President as Donald Trump, or the incoming President as Joe Biden. In fact, a plurality of respondents (36%) listed Gerald Ford as the nation’s leader, with George H.W. Bush (21%), Dwight D. Eisenhower (18%), and Robert Zimmer (9%) following closely thereafter.

Other findings from the survey include that UChicago’s math instructors unanimously reported being “pretty sure the Constitution was written in LaTeX.”

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