Sex Is Like Pizza
By Barry
March 1, 2015
Guys, sex is like pizza: even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good. You know what I mean? Every time I’ve had sex in the past, I was happy with the result, even when I had little to no sexual chemistry with my partner.
Similarly, bread and cheese are pretty much always delicious, no matter how janky the pizza is. In fact, if you put a bunch of cheese on a piece of cardboard, I might not even notice the difference.
Just like that one time I watched three hours of static noise on my television for three hours instead of Titanic. It was basically the same experience. You feel me, bro? I mean, sure, I’m all for fancy food and passionate intercourse, but, at the same time, my goldfish died when I was ten, and I kept feeding it until I was eleven.
Sex is sex, man. It just can’t be bad! I don’t care about little details like “your girlfriend looks profoundly unhappy,” and “this goldfish died one year ago.” My point is, I’m not saying I would have sex with my mom, but I’m not saying it would be the worst thing, either. Amirite, fellas? High five!
