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May 14, 2016
According to sources close to the Shady Dealer, people of the Vincent House lounge silently and unanimously voted to say nothing about the massive fart unleashed by the house weirdoresident, [name1]Frank Simpson.
“Yeah, we were just chilling out, playing video games, and making plans for the weekend, when all of a sudden, Frank just absolutely rips ass,” Vincent House resident [name2]Harry Petersen told the Shady Dealer. “We didn’t want to address it right then and there, because, you know, we already make fun of him mercilessly behind his back, and it would feel wrong,” [name2]Petersen continued.
“I was in the middle of a sentence,, and then, boom! I tried my best to keep going as if nothing happened, but there was definitely a break in the flow of the conversation,” Vincent House RA [name3]Gayle Hershfield added. “I hoped that it would go back to normal in a few seconds, but the smell was just so overpowering that I don’t know how aneveryone in the room held it together. I hope I don’t have to bring this up at House Meeting.”
When asked about the incident, [name1]Simpson claimed that he had no idea what we were talking about before mumbling, “I didn’t do it,” to himself and returning to his weekly ritual of clipping his toenails in his room with his door open and Korean pop music blaring from his speakers.
