Horoscopes: Marxist Tattoo Edition
By Ella Hester
Jan. 29, 2018
Ready to show off your everlasting love for your SOSC buddy, Marx? Here’s your guide to picking the commie tattoo that best represents you!
Aries: Adam Smith’s Hand on Fire
Put this gem on your bicep so everyone knows about your fiery dedication to the cause!
Leo: “M” Next to Your Mouth
Face tattoo? Bold. But you know what you’re about. Money exchanged means money earned, and that’s got to change! Run and tell everyone, you motor mouth.
Sagittarius: “Revolution” Under the Infinity Symbol
You know the rev is coming soon–it’s inevitable! Your faith is inspiring.
Gemini: Marx’s Face on Your Stomach With a Belly Button Mouth
This one is SO fun. Great conversation starter. You can make him say whatever you want! You’ll love the interactive experience this tattoo offers.
Libra: “Comrades” with Arrows Pointed Towards Breasts
Flirty, but educational?
Aquarius: Knuckle Tattoo that Spells Out “Class”
When the Revolution comes, the upper class won’t know what hit them! (It was you. You hit them. Turning your thoughts into action, hell yeah.)
Taurus: “Means of Production” Tramp Stamp
Everyone will know you mean business when you get this tattoo. No dilly-dallying around this essential concept. You definitely did the reading, and you need people to know it.
Virgo: “Exchange Value” on Inside of Palm
Whenever you exchange money for goods and services, you’ll have a gentle reminder that you’re still part of the system!
Capricorn: “Vol. 1” on One Ass Cheek, “Vol. 2” on the Other
There’s nothing like objectifying your own body to protest the objectification of the labor force. You’re full of contradictions!
Cancer: Factory Worker Punching a Machine, Crying Out in Pain
We feel you Cancers, we feel you.
Scorpio: “Ask Me About the Bourgeoisie” on Forehead
Look at you! Ready to put yourself out there and hear from the other side. Don’t hog all the quality discourse for yourself!
Pisces: Small Cursive “Karl” Behind Your Ear
You’re so subtle, and you’re not looking for attention. But maybe one day as you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, someone will notice that you’re definitely a Marxist and strike up a conversation! Wouldn’t that be nice?