By Walker King April 20, 2014 Totino’s Pizza Rolls were provided for residents at May House study break this Sunday for the second week in a row, an anomaly many residents attribute to…

By Noah Lemelson April 20, 2014 Caving to popular demand,, The University of Chicago announced yesterday that it will host a Todd Awareness Day on June 13th. Many suspect the University’s decision may…

By Timi Koyejo April 20, 2014 Following months of deliberation, Congressional leaders and President Obama have announced in a joint bipartisan news conference their plan to eliminate the budget deficit entirely through funds…

By Alexander Dunlap April 20, 2014 The University’s Student Health and Counseling Service has issued a warning to students and administrators about a harmful and highly addictive attitude reported to be on the…

By Evan Bernstein April 20, 2014 Over the past week, The Dealer has received numerous phone calls, anonymous tips, and letters regarding this weekend’s horrific event on the North Side. The Circle Jerk…

By Evan Bernstein April 20, 2014 1. 1991 2. 1992 3. 1993 4. 1994 5. 1995 6. 1996 7. 1997 8. 1998 9. 1999 10. 2000 11. 2001 12. 2002 14. 2003 15.…

By Zach Augustine April 20, 2014 1. When Craig threw that Frisbee into oncoming traffic on the Midway. Hilarious! 2. Who could forget the infamous guacamole incident last winter at Jimmy’s? Craig seemed…

By Morgan Pantuck April 20, 2014 A young dust cloud at the grocery store with her mother sees a row of gossip magazines lining the checkout counter. She picks up a cover of…

By Morgan Pantuck April 20, 2014 When I applied to college, I toured a lot of impressive campuses. But UChicago was different. More exciting, somehow. Initially, I loved the intellectual atmosphere and “quirky”…

By Walker King April 20, 2014 Pope Francis made a series of campaign appearances yesterday throughout the Vatican, strongly reaffirming his commitment to seeking the youth vote in the impending Papal election, where…