By Teddy Zamborsky Aug. 1, 2015 Being the incredibly sexy people we are, Dealer writers are uniquely equipped to guide you through the perilous journey of your first college romance. So here is…

By Teddy Zamborsky Aug. 1, 2015 Well, it is best that you accept that this is happening. I’m sure you consulted your house constitution to see what kind of fight is officially sanctioned.…

By Willamina Groething Aug. 1, 2015 Anthropology: Raspberry Vinaigrette Biology: Italian Cinema and Media Studies: Honey Mustard Classics: Caesar Computer Science: Creamy Caesar Economics: Green Goddess English Language and Literature: French Environmental Studies:…

By Willamina Groething Aug. 1, 2015 Study: Students Are Add-Dropping More Than Their ClassesThe Chicago Shady Dealer interviewed 230 students in the college to find out what they’ve add/dropped beside Honors Physics, and…

By Willamina Groething Aug. 1, 2015 1. Pick your new friend and follow them closely 24/7. Once they get used to seeing you everywhere, it will be like you already know each other…

By Vivienne Foumeau, Paris Correspondent Aug. 1, 2015 Make sure you are visibly positioned among your group friends as you loiter, perhaps on a street corner or in a public park. With a…

By Nico Aldape Aug. 5, 2015 Be happy when you’re talking to them, but not too happy. You want them to do the work of telling you they miss you and want to…

By Ryan Fleishman Aug. 6, 2015 Mechanical cCrossbow for hunting food and protecting your spot– Lotion, as. eElbows tend to get chaffed overnight in the lounge.– Speakers so everyone on the 1st, 2nd,…

By Erin Horning Aug. 7, 2015 First-year Mona Everett thought she was set for college when her parents dropped her and all of her brand-new college gear off on the steps of Max…

By Marlon C. Lynch, Associate VP for Safety and Security Aug. 9, 2015 The University of ChicagoSeptember 20, 2015Security Alert At approximately 9:50 p.m., Thursday June 19th, 2014 — A victim not affiliated…