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North Korea Can’t Launch Missiles, But You Can’t Even Pull a B-Minus In SOSC
By Nik Varley April 20, 2017 North Korea Can’t Launch Missiles, But You Can’t Even Pull a B-Minus In SOSC Following North Korea’s disastrous missile launch last week, experts have agreed that the…
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Turning Point? Vanilla Ice Denounces Donald Trump!
By Ryan Fleishman March 27, 2017 President Trump and his administration have conducted a veritable campaign of fear across American politics over the first three months of his presidency. Many people and celebrities…
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Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson Loses Wrestling Match To James “The Paper” Thompson
By Ryan Fleishman Feb. 25, 2017 Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson Loses Wrestling Match To James “The Paper” ThompsonAfter a grueling No Holds Barred title match for the WWE World Intercontinental Championship Belt, Dwayne…
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Point: You’re Drunk, 21st Amendment
By 18th Amendment, 1933 Feb. 5, 2017 P: 18th Ammendment: You’re Drunk Jesus Christ, 21st Amendment, you’re drunk. I told you that buying a handle of whiskey was a bad idea. How are…
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Pierre Curie’s Wife Wins Nobel Prize in Chemistry
By Dan Lastres, Stockholm, 1911 Jan. 30, 2017 The wife of celebrated chemist Pierre Curie was awarded a Nobel Prize for her discovery of two elements: Polonium 209 and Radium 223. Though Pierre…
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How Can I Be A Good Boy If the Concept of Good Is Arbitrary and Flawed
By Fidocles, the Dog Jan. 13, 2017 “Who’s a good boy?” my master asks me. In that moment, my mind is opened to all of the possibilities of goodness in our world. For…
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Op-Ed: Why is Everyone in My Family Thankful for Greg Kinnear?
By Nik Varley Nov. 25, 2016 Don’t get me wrong, I love Thanksgiving. I love getting a break from classes, eating loads of food and spending time with my old friends. However, more…
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Admissions Office Announces Exciting New Diversity Initiative
By Philip O’Sullivan Nov. 14, 2016 The University of Chicago Admissions Office recently announced an exciting new diversity initiative, the Opportunity Scholarship, to help increase the diversity of rich and privileged students attending…
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Top Ten UChicago Christmas Kinks
By Shira Eisenberg Oct. 26, 2016 Whether you’re home for the holidays or poppin‘ some acid and camping out in Mansueto, here are some sure fire ways to getcha into the Christmas spirit.Whether…
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First Years to Skip One Year of Human Interaction with AP Credit
By Baunnee Martinez Oct. 12, 2016 After pressure from the student body for more credit from their AP examinations, the College is now offering Class of 2020 students with 5’s on certain tests…
