By Nora Helfand Oct. 21, 2012 Hollywood power couple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie announced Sunday that they would be adopting a child from a remote locale: University of Chicago’s Broadview residence hall.…

By The DNC March 9, 2017 November was an absolute shellacking. We now only have six states with both Democratic governors and state legislatures. Now that Tom Perez has won the DNC Chairmanship,…

By Morgan Pantuck Jan. 13, 2016 Here at the Dealer, we don’t subscribe to the notion that there’s only one type of physical beauty. We think all women can find things to hate…

By Walker King April 20, 2014 Pope Francis made a series of campaign appearances yesterday throughout the Vatican, strongly reaffirming his commitment to seeking the youth vote in the impending Papal election, where…

By Patrick Sheehan Nov. 2, 2018 Citing the success of his last “micro-donation,” Max Palevsky has decided to devote another fifteen dollars to open a new complex of dormitories at UChicago. President Zimmer,…

By Dan Lastres Jan. 17, 2017 On Tuesday, the FDA released its yearly report on the status of foods and drugs in America, concluding that “oOverall, both are pretty nice and we have…

By Harini Radharikshnan and Nik Varley Nov. 2, 2015

By Terry Hines Dec. 24, 2013 This winter, America’s migratory birds have chosen to try their luck with the freezing temperatures of the North rather than face the state of Florida. The plethora…

By By Dumbo McGonagall May 25, 2018 In response to declining attendance and a total abandonment of moral fiber, your TA has decided to take matters into their own hands and has sent…

By Jacob Johnson Nov. 8, 2016 It’s almost the most wonderful time of the year again! And that means it’s time to start thinking about gifts for the important people in your life.…