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Local Couple Announce Relationship has Been Cancelled
By Katie Zellner May 13, 2016 Jen Karamchandny and Joe Gaddis have announced that they are discontinuing their relationship after a successful three season run. Mutual friend and self-described producer of the relationship,…
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Student Bouncing Leg Up and Down Shows No Sign of Stopping
By Nik Varley April 23, 2016 SourcesStudents in Professor Pierce Jackson’s SOSC 113 class informed confirmed that fellow studenttThe Dealer that student Graham Larson began bouncing his right leg up and down at…
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First-Year Encourages Voting
By Morgan Pantuck March 13, 2016 Just moments ago, first-year student and budding political activist Marissa Newbolt encouraged her Facebook friends, 99% of whom support the Democratic Party, to vote in the upcoming…
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Frat Charges Guys $5 at Door to Correct for Income Inequality
By Chase Harrison Feb. 18, 2016 Like most fraternities on campus, PsiU’s Friday night party “90’s” themed party forced guys to pay $5 at the door, while girls got in for free. Howeverver,…
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America is Great Again: Looking Back at Trump’s First Two Years
By Liam Coles Jan. 22, 2016 WASHINGTON, 2019– Just yesterday on 19th March 2019 around 6:30 PM EST, just over two years since President Trump took office, America officially became great again. Living…
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Am I a Homicidal Megalomaniac or A New Messiah?
By Nikolai Alodopolous, 200 CE Jan. 18, 2016 Are you a God yourself or just a messenger for your God? 1. The god, totally. Or maybe both, kind of like Jesus. 2. Don’t…
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The Golden Man In the Oscar Should Hold a Tinier, Golder Oscar
By Daniel Ruttenberg Dec. 31, 2015 1. The Golden Man Might Get Lonely! People aren’t the only ones who get lonely, you know. The Golden Man deserves a friend too. 2. The Oscar…
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Having an Erection in Skinny Jeans Is Worse than Menstruation
By Nico Aldape Nov. 17, 2015 I am gender-blind – I don’t see gender. Contrary to popular opinion and fact, the male gender is being oppressed due to reverse sexism. As a man,…
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Point/Counterpoint: Sports are Obnoxious
By Nico Aldape Nov. 11, 2015 I quite honestly think sports culture is obnoxious. Major sports just capitalize on hyper-masculinity (except basketball and soccer, which capitalize on flopping and pretending to be injured).…
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Weird Thing Hot
By Pseudonym? Oct. 21, 2015 According to recent reports, a thing that you have just seen, which should, by all accounts, be considered deeply strange, is somehow continuing to be arousing despite all…
