By Morgan Pantuck March 1, 2016 Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump shocked reporters earlier this week by appearing in public with his facial hair trimmed into a toothbrush style, shaved sharply at the…

By Isaac Krone Nov. 16, 2014 According to recent reports, area bachelor Aziz Ruffalo’s cleaning woman is currently on vacation in the People’s Republic of China. Ana Vikernes, the maid in question, is…

By Ricky Stewart Oct. 21, 2012 If you’ve been following the news at all since President Obama took office, you’ve probably heard the rumors about how he’s a Muslim Antichrist sent from Kenya…

By Sue Donim March 8, 2017 “Opposition to Safe Spaces Not a Fundraising Ploy,” says Zimmer at Opening of New $150m Institute for Free Speech Jeremy Kidman CHICAGO — The University’s new Institute…

By Nik Varley Jan. 11, 2016 Employees of the office of career advancement were surprised this Thursday when their Taking the Next Step seminar devolved into an all– out fuckfest. Students, faculty, and…

By Morgan Pantuck April 20, 2014 When I applied to college, I toured a lot of impressive campuses. But UChicago was different. More exciting, somehow. Initially, I loved the intellectual atmosphere and “quirky”…

By Diego Mansplane Nov. 2, 2018 Tired of always making your friends and family proud? Does your love life need a little danger? Then allow us to introduce you to Todd: the guy…

By Ryan Fleishman Jan. 17, 2017 Throughout his three years as a student in Social Sciences at the University of Chicago, classmate Brady Schultz has insisted that every single essay, paragraph, and problem…

By John Veillette Oct. 31, 2015 In Genesis, the God character, who is of course just a character because a divine being is a fiction for those too weak to face the realities…

By Morgan Pantuck Dec. 24, 2013 Particle physicists working at CERN Laboratories have just confirmed the existence of the Struggle, the fundamental particle initially theorized in 1963 by Peter Struggle which completes the…