By Daniel Moattar May 26, 2015 Study: Fear of Snakes “Totally Reasonable”The fear of snakes is a completely sensible reaction to environmental factors, including extreme fucking deadliness and terrifying goddamn slithery noisesResearchers at…

By Sam Spiegel May 28, 2013 Rebecca Black, best known for her pop hit “Friday,” has graduated with Johns Hopkins University’s Class of 2013 with a B.S. degree in neuroscience, with honors. Black,…

By Greer Baxter Jan. 19, 2018 Members of the local freegan meet-up group Impact: Zero! are starting to question the commitment of newest member Mike Fitzpatrick, who joined three months ago. Says group…

By Chase Harrison May 16, 2016 8 months. 40 books. 9 drafts. 30 meetings with my advisersor. 9 all– nighters. 90 pages. And all I get are 143 likes on Facebook. Are you…

By Militides, son of Lycurgus/ The Pantheon Feb. 1, 2015 Prayer: The World is Flat. By Militides, son of Lycurgus Oh Lords of the earth and sky, dwellers of the shimmering heavens and…

By Chris Deakin Feb. 4, 2013 Check this out: kids are all about this new Minecraft thing. Have you seen this? Hold your horses, I’ll tell you, gosh. So what it’s all about…

By Mark Trietal Aug. 17, 2017 University officials are reporting overfull classrooms, teacher shortages, and general panic after finding that every member of the class of 2021 has registered for honors analysis. “At…

By Breck Radulovic March 2, 2016 Thomas Jefferson Middle School has seen the development of a new clique in recent weeks. Styling themselves as “Super Tuesday,” the group of spiteful and exclusionary middle…

By Sam Buck and Hannah Flynn Nov. 16, 2014 First-year student Sandy Livingston was awestruck on meeting roommate Mindy Belindi’s father this past Thanksgiving break. Livingston claims her roommate’s father is the first…

By Nora Helfand Oct. 21, 2012 Hollywood power couple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie announced Sunday that they would be adopting a child from a remote locale: University of Chicago’s Broadview residence hall.…