In Addition to Fluoridated Water
Chlorinated Water
Contains harmful chemicals such as salt.
Poridated Water
Can absorb even more water.
Brominated Water
Is down to party this weekend and plans to major in Econ.
Sworidated Water
Not suitable for daytime TV.
Boredated Water
Uninteresting and monotonous.
Sporidated Water
Puts you to sleep unless you are holding Safety Goggles or are a grass-type.
Phosphoridated Water
Will light up your stomach.
Amoridated Water
Wants you to love learning Spanish.
Loridated Water
Drinking will spoil the TV series you are currently watching.
Scoridated Water
Has been drinkable for the past 20 years.
Beforidated Water
This stuff is pure actually, but it will be fluoridated in the future.
NORidated Water
It can be drunk neither through your mouth nor your nose.
Trade-Waridated Water
Increasingly common nowadays.
Sophomoreidated Water
Toxic to freshmen and upperclassmen.
Seashoridated Water
Contains bits of shell and sand. We don’t like sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere.
Justin Bilenker
Copy Editor 2023-2025
Emperor 2025-2026
