UChicago Sends Melina Hale to Scope Out Northwestern for Potential Takeover
Early Thursday morning, Dean of the College Melina Hale was spotted wandering the Northwestern University “campus” taking photos and scoping out the wilds of Evanston, Illinois. Hale’s actions have spurred rumors that UChicago is trying to take over a school with fewer Big Ten football wins than it (UChicago 7, Northwestern 0).
In a speech later that day, President Paul Alivisatos remarked that “in the 1930s, President [Robert Maynard] Hutchins wanted to combine Northwestern and UChicago, but they refused. Now we must finalize that dream whether they like it or not.” His speech continued by suggesting that Northwestern should be grateful a rigorous school was interested in purchasing its campus and “maybe keeping the buildings and changing everything else.”
After the acquisition, the famed Northwestern Rock is set to be placed next to the Nuclear Energy Sculpture near the Reg.
Elliot Florack
A guy who knows very little about whats happening around him but loves to make jokes about what he does know. Open to discussing past or future articles and can be found trying to lock in at the Harper reading room. Warning: will attempt to give everyone high fives.
