Historical Issue

Incredible New Horse Breed Runs at 1.5 Horsepower

March 4, 1886

CHURCHILL DOWNS, KENTUCKY – Premier horse breeders Hoofington & Hartford have announced the successful breeding of their fastest horse yet. Darling Daisy Withers Wild, a Thoroughbred-Arabian-Akhal-Teke-Morgan-Appaloosa stallion, stands seventeen hands high at the withers (thumbs included!) and runs at a speed one and a half times the horsepower of their previous record-setter, Rumi Mountain Married Mists, a Thoroughbred-Arabian-Akhal-Teke mare. 

“Our thinking is that if we just keep throwing the fastest horse breeds in a room together and hoping for the best, we’ll eventually come out with the fastest horse there is,” says Darrell Hoofington, Esq, one of the owners of Hoofington & Hartford, “Like an Über-pferd, y’know?