Confused First-Year Found Doing Work in Coffee Shop

TUESDAY— Several upperclassmen were shocked to witness a visibly confused first-year doing schoolwork in Hallowed Grounds. Crystal Nowakowski, was drafting a HUM paper as dozens of onlookers snuck peeks at her screen.

“I was trying to do my HUM essays but I kept getting interrupted by techno music and guys accidentally jabbing me with pool cues,” said Nowakwoski, “I thought cafés were for quiet work and contemplation. Turns out that they’re just for people who want to stand around and wear big leather jackets and stuff.”

This incident is part of a rising trend of confused first-years working in “fun” campus spots, including the MADD Center, the first floor of the Reg, the basement of Ryerson, and their own dorm rooms. Nowakowski said that she has learned her lesson, and will instead work at Plein Air next week.