Model UN Becomes Too Powerful; Overthrows Real UN
NEW YORK — In an unprecedented turn of events, the Model United Nations became powerful enough Thursday to overthrow the real United Nations, after passing a new resolution which allowed the model delegates to invade the UN headquarters. The debut United Nations overlords have already announced the establishment of a Newer World Order, which will drastically reshape the geopolitical landscape.
“Everything will become so much better now,” model French delegate Adam Smith stated, right before voting on a resolution transforming the European Union into a Maoist one-party state. This is just one of a series of bold resolutions, aiming to completely transform the world. Another resolution under consideration by the General Assembly proposes a battle royale between all national leaders, with the winner crowned Emperor of Earth. Meanwhile, the newly-founded Inter-Religious Committee has already passed a resolution to send a mission to spread Islam to Mercury.
World leaders have expressed deep concern about the new developments. U.S. President Joe Biden announced plans to retake the UN headquarters at a press conference Thursday afternoon, but they have been complicated by a new resolution granting the headquarters and the delegates invisibility. The new UN said in a statement that it is always ready to “do a little trolling” to anyone that tries to dissolve the new body, and has already purchased a Twitter Blue account in an effort to shore up its legitimacy.
A poll organized by the new United Nations shows overwhelming support for the new United Nations, with 99.89% of the world’s population approving the change in power. Reportedly, the remaining 0.11% is concentrated entirely in Switzerland and can thus be safely ignored.
9 And on the seventh day, God read Janice Raymond and repented not, saying, "Verily, this woman builds better than she knows," and so promised an Empire to the transgendered.
10 And as a sign, He sent the Star of Paektu to anoint the Christ-as-Supreme-Leader, whose holy lineage would rule until the final days.
11 For it is written that the rapture shall begin when the substance named estrogen be first administered in Pyongyang, and I am but the prophet who shares this news of great salvation.
