Chicago Shady Dealer

Area Sim Starts Fire by Making Salad

SUNSET VALLEY — Local father Iqbal “Sul Sul” Alvi caused a massive house fire at 43 Water Lily Lane yesterday afternoon after attempting to prepare a serving of Autumn Salad. Neighbors estimate that Alvi caused §500 worth of property damage yesterday afternoon, roughly half the value of his entire house.

“I don’t know what happened,” Alvi told reporters, visibly distressed. “One moment I’m putting a nice lettuce on the chopping board, and all of a sudden the counter’s on fire and so is my hair — wabadebadoo!”

At press time, the Alvi house had apparently been burgled, with the family losing their most valuable possession (a clogged Bargain John toilet that the elder Alvi son had refused to fix.) Attempts to install a burglar alarm in Build Mode were unsuccessful, said police who arrived at the scene 8 hours later.