Self-Proclaimed World’s Tallest Man Just Matched with You on Tinder

MAX PALEVSKY WEST — Disappointed friends reported Monday that you’ve probably hit the high point of your Tinder career and it’s all downhill from here. These comments were provoked by your most recent match, John, a 25-year-old Religious Studies grad student and self-proclaimed “world’s tallest man.”

John’s bio reads: “hey, it’s me, jonathan uppies. actually i don’t need to use capitalization because i am so tall in person that i’d be stepping on people’s toes with capitalization. you get the stepping on people’s toes part right. i appreciate you responding to my messages despite me being so visibly off-putting.”

Friends report that you, in your desperation, are actually considering responding to his “u up? (i am) (in the sky) (because i’m tall)” text.