-
Volume 16 Issue 6
-
Biden Chooses Kamala Harris for President, Joe Biden for VP
SCRANTON, PA – In a historic, bizarre, and unprecedented move, Joe Biden announced today that he had selected himself as the Democratic vice-presidential candidate. Biden also announced that Kamala Harris would replace him as the Democratic nominee for President. Harris, a pragmatic moderate who spent most of her early career as a prosecutor, tweeted that she was “honored” to be the first woman with a secure email server to be nominated for the Presidency by a major party. Biden, who made the announcement from a moving Amtrak train passing through Scranton, Pennsylvania, said “I look forward to doing what it takes to make Kamala Harris our next Commander-in-Chief.” Many of…
-
OP-ED: I’m a Fundamentals Major and My Question is “A Who Did What Now?”
When I came to college from a small town in rural Pennsylvania, I had no idea what I wanted to major in. I tried Math, but it was too hard. I tried Sociology, but my outfits weren’t good enough. I tried Cinema and Media Studies, but I thought that every movie was a horror movie and I got too scared. But none of these majors truly scratched my intellectual itch. Then I found Fundamentals. Each Fundamentals major poses one big question to study during their time in college. I thought long and hard about what I wanted to ask. Drawing on the legacies of greats like Plato, Aristotle, and Kant,…
The Only Intentional Humor Publication of the University of Chicago
