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Editors in Chief

Griffin Bonnin Jones, Andrea Zhou

Managing Editor

Katherine Reynolds

Deputy Managing Editor

Vivian Psylos

Layout Editor

Justin Bilenker

Photo Editor

Zayna Cheema

Copy Editors

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Volume 16 Issue 6

    Diego Matamoros / August 14, 2020

    [pdf-embedder url=”https://chicagoshadydealer.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/volume16issue6-2.pdf” title=”volume16issue6 (2)”]

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  • Politics

    Biden Chooses Kamala Harris for President, Joe Biden for VP

    R.E. Stern / August 12, 2020

    SCRANTON, PA – In a historic, bizarre, and unprecedented move, Joe Biden announced today that he had selected himself as the Democratic vice-presidential candidate. Biden also announced that Kamala Harris would replace him…

    read more
  • Campus Life

    OP-ED: I’m a Fundamentals Major and My Question is “A Who Did What Now?”

    Anne Lim and Jo Blankson / August 10, 2020

    When I came to college from a small town in rural Pennsylvania, I had no idea what I wanted to major in. I tried Math, but it was too hard. I tried Sociology,…

    read more

Read It and Weep

  • Get Your my.UChicago Data Off the Dark Web in Five Easy Steps
  • Twelve Ways to React When Someone Says Something You Disagree With in Class
  • Analyzing Melina Hale’s Welcome Video for Avant-Garde Sensibilities
  • It’s Springtime! Flowers to Sniff, Poke, and Potentially Buy
  • Duo Authentication Requires New Blood, Urine, and STD Test Sample to Verify Identity; Most People Fail
  • Maroon Wins Pulitzer Prize for “Courageous” Reporting on Reg Bathroom Closure
  • Odyssey Scholars Program replaced by David Rubenstein Sugar Baby Program
  • An Open Letter to My Professors: If Congress Can Take a Vacation When They Have Work to Do, Why Can’t I?
  • Point: Dining halls should strive to incorporate healthier cereals. Counterpoint: You can pry the Lucky Charms out of my cold, dead hands, bitch!
  • President Trump Declared Dead after Not Posting on Truth Social for 5 Seconds

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