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Editors in Chief

Griffin Bonnin Jones, Andrea Zhou

Managing Editor

Katherine Reynolds

Deputy Managing Editor

Vivian Psylos

Layout Editor

Justin Bilenker

Photo Editor

Zayna Cheema

Copy Editors

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Volume 16 Issue 6

    Diego Matamoros / August 14, 2020

    [pdf-embedder url=”https://chicagoshadydealer.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/volume16issue6-2.pdf” title=”volume16issue6 (2)”]

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  • Politics

    Biden Chooses Kamala Harris for President, Joe Biden for VP

    R.E. Stern / August 12, 2020

    SCRANTON, PA – In a historic, bizarre, and unprecedented move, Joe Biden announced today that he had selected himself as the Democratic vice-presidential candidate. Biden also announced that Kamala Harris would replace him…

    read more
  • Campus Life

    OP-ED: I’m a Fundamentals Major and My Question is “A Who Did What Now?”

    Anne Lim and Jo Blankson / August 10, 2020

    When I came to college from a small town in rural Pennsylvania, I had no idea what I wanted to major in. I tried Math, but it was too hard. I tried Sociology,…

    read more

Read It and Weep

  • Viktor Orbán Wins Bid for USG President
  • We Should Do This Thing, Says Guy Who Just Doesn’t Fucking Get It
  • Woodlawn to host a bake sale to raise money for new carpet! Cupcakes $20,000 each
  • Your Old Humanities Paper Appears in Epstein Files
  • Mini-Crossword
  • Calculus Textbook Explains Trigonometry as “IDK🤷”
  • Student Accidentally Calls Former Second-Grade Teacher “Professor,” Dies of Shame
  • Trump organizes GoFundMe to buy Greenland
  • Heartwarming: SGFC Gives RSO $7.49 for Trip to Washington, D.C.
  • Trump Vows War to Last No More than 6 Weeks/5 Minutes/17 Years

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