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Oct. 13, 2016
Ok, you Millennials make NO sense. After the whole kerfuffle with the letter this summer, the College Advisors told me I had to improve my approval rating with undergraduates. They needed to love me like they once did. So, I decided to dress up for Halloween! A whimsical and non-controversial holiday ! But what was I going to be? I thought about it forever. A ballerina? An octopus? Maybe even a vampire! But then it hit me. Millennials love two things: one,1. dDiversity and two2., fFeathers. I knew in that moment what I was going to be: an Indian Chief! So, I went to Party City and got everything I needed:. aA headdress, a beaded necklace, and a leather shirt. I looked like the Land ‘O’ Lakes Butter Man. Triggger warning: my costume was the best! I walked on to campus that day fully confident. This is the Dean Ellison everyone knows and loves! I was ready to smoke a peace pipe with those Social Justice Warriors. Suddenly, students started coming up to me and telling me I was ‘culturally appropriating.’ Me? A cultural appropriator? I retreated to the safe space of my office, in tears. How could this be? Well, students, I just wanted to let you know that I’ll be taking a two week vacation after this incident and I won’t be checking my email! And I just want to let you know that my friends at on the Board of Trustees thought it was a great costume!
