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Feb. 1, 2017
1840- My fellow citizens: I am proud to announce we are living in a post-racial America. That’s right;. aAfter decades on centuries of discrimination, we can finally say that all races are treated equally in this great American melting pot. At last, Americans of every nationality and creedll races in the United States are treated with dignity and respect, regardless of whether you are Irish, Spanish, Russian, Scottish, or German.
This wasn’t always true. In the olden days, an American could be mocked or even discriminated against simply based onff the shade of their white skin. Why, when I was a child, an Italian could be forced out a decent house simply because of their complexion darkness of his skin. Now, however, the Italians are treated with the justice that every European deserves.
The Catholics, God bless their souls, are finally upstanding members of society in the modern day. In the past, Catholics, reviled for their bumbling devotion to The Pope and tendency towards vulgar alcoholism, were barred out of our Protestant schools. However,ere in our current, post-racial society, the Catholics have founded separate institutions of learning, that are separate from our Protestant schools but of equal quality.
Even those immigrants from Ireland are treated properly, regardless of if they deserve it. While those beer-swilling Irishmen are certainly still prone to violence, their potato-headed males have a fair chance when applying for jobs and their reckless breeder wives and filthy swaths of children are provided for. Any apparent injustices towards the Irish community is not the product of society, but of their Celtic genetics which naturally lead them to be intellectually inferior to an upstanding Anglo-Saxon Protestant.
The importance of post-racial America is that every minority is treated equally and fairly by the system. Each and every white American has an equal opportunity to succeed in the country, and their failures are a product of their own insufficiency rather than society putting them down. Non-British citizens may be inherently predisposed to crime andin poverty, but by golly does the country allow them to pull themselves up by the bootstraps. On any given day, a fortunate Eastern European may buy a negro slave of his own, and finally stand equally with other races. It is my utmost honor to announce that America has conquered racism.
