Therapy Dogs Wracked with “Feelings of Inadequacy” upon Arrival at UChicago

By Si Squires-Kasten

Oct. 23, 2014

A report released Thursday by the University’s Health Promotion and Wellness department confirmed that several puppies brought onto campus as part of the Pet Love program have fallen victim to feelings of “severe inadequacy” during their brief time at UChicago.

“Our therapy dogs are all exceptionally talented, and have received certifications regarding their cuteness and domesticity,” explains veterinarian Leslie Brown, who has worked with Pet Love since 2008. “However, prior to their arrival in Hyde Park, most of our animals had never encountered similarly qualified pups, and the jump seems to be wreaking havoc with their egos.”

Third-year student Imani Jamil has firsthand experience with this brand of canine culture shock. “I’ve had to cancel three of Angel’s meetings today,” reports the Pet Love volunteer, in reference to an 18-month old Samoyed from Fort Wayne, Indiana. “The simple truth is that it’s not as easy to be a service dog here as it was back home, and, in the long run, she’ll need to learn to accept a slightly less rigorous schedule than she might have hoped.”

When asked how the University planned to treat the anxious puppies, program director Michael Kim said that his team was seeking “common sense” solutions: “The first step is making sure our dogs are eating right, that they’re getting enough sleep. A leisurely walk around campus can go a long way towards giving the pups a sense of perspective.” Kim continued, “They really are the best therapy dogs out there. Sometimes they just need a little reminder.”

According to Jamil, however, an additional problem emerges when puppies return home following Exam Week. “It’s those UChicago collars,” she said, referring to the maroon-and-white collars with which each service dog is branded. “They want to wear them fucking everywhere.”