Surprising Findings: UCMC Doctor Recommends Laughter as Best Medicine for Erectile Dysfunction

By Walker King

May 27, 2013

University of Chicago Hospital urologist Dr. Travis Bartman publicized his latest paper today, telling reporters that laughter is truly the best medicine for patients suffering erectile dysfunction.Bartman added that this has proved true in both his professional experience in 25 years of treating patients, and in his personal life.

“I find that when you’re pushing rope, it never hurts to stare right at your equipment and give it a few hearty guffaws, just to show it who’s boss,” said Bartman. “That usually gets the old guy working again.”

Throughout his medical career, Bartman has been a large advocate of the Laughter School of medicine, first pioneered by Euminicles, a student of Hippocrates, in the fourth century B.C. According to Bartman, the technique utilized in directing laughter at the flaccid penis is as follows:one’s penis is humiliated and feels bad, which encourages the penis to do better in the future. Intercourse can then commence.

“No one likes to laugh at their penis. It just doesn’t feel natural. But if you give it a try, I swear you’ll be swinging the biggest wood you’ve ever had,” said Bartman in the conclusion to his latest published work.

While laughing at one’s own genitalia is the most tested method, many scientists argue that it really shouldn’t make a difference which partner is doing the laughing. In fact, if the paramours combine their efforts in laughing at the male’s phallus, predicted effects may be even greater.

Bartman encourages all his patients experiencing ED to give their penises a good laughing at, watch a humorous movie with their partner, and “get back to fucking.”

“Me and the missus like to sit around laughing at my dick for about five minutes, then go watch This Is Spinal Tap. After that, I’ll be ready to go all night.”

While Bartman claims to have had great success in treating ED in this manner, many researchers dispute his findings, claiming, in other peer-reviewed journals, that corporal punishment is the most reliable way of getting a penis to behave.